Give yourself permission to cut negative people from your life, and surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you! But How?
‘How’ is the main point that most of us don’t know about, even if we are adults. We want honest people beside us, and for that, sometimes we sacrifice our life rules and try to change ourselves just to merge ourselves with the people whom we consider “Normal” - but later, we know they are not!
Here I found the problem, even when we know they are real people with genuine intentions towards us, why don’t we have the courage to disconnect them from our lives?
It is because we don’t want to lose them even though they are dishonest, and later we know they are just suckers who are devasting us by sucking our good energy. I’ve been advised by my teacher:
❎ Don’t be afraid to lose people!
✅ Be afraid of losing yourself by trying to please everyone around you!
Most of you even wondering if their friendship is real or not. As you are not at that stage of revelation where you are 100% sure. True and honest friendship is like a Healthy ingredient in the food of our life that gives us energy and helps us make healthy.
On the other hand, Fake and toxic Friends are rotten ingredients. In some cases, they act like your medicine but don’t be deceived, it’s the medicine with an ended expiry date.
Healthy Friendship is mutual, where you can feel a sense of companionship and support. Of course, real friends can also argue or experience rough patches sometimes, but that’s normal. These arguments are even healthy for your way of thinking as sometimes we are wrong in our life decisions and our friends just wanna keep us from trouble.
Here are some tips to be sure about your Good Friends.
Sometimes it’s too difficult to ask someone to help, but you will not feel shy around the person about whom you believe that he/she will not refuse your help-seeking hand. That’s a sign you are in a healthy friendship, where you can open up to your friend, as you are not worried about being judged. It also shows that you believe him/her and feel safe to share your problem with as you know that he will keep it private.
A healthy friendship is just a good feeling that you can not describe in words. Your souls feels like connected, where you don’t need to use many words to explain yourself. In a healthy relationship, your friend does not have to be your clone to understand you. Empathy is enough for a healthy relation.
Healthy friendships thrive on mutual respect, not just shared interests. Friends respect each other’s values and boundaries, even when they disagree. Disagreements are handled kindly and without disrespect.
In a true friendship, you can be your authentic self. Whether it’s double texting, sharing secrets, or just being silly, a real friend accepts and trusts you completely. In contrast, unhealthy relationships might make you feel judged or on edge, leading to a superficial connection.
Good friendships need effort. You make time and offer support even when feel exhausted. You spend money or other resources without thinking 2nd time. In unhealthy friendships, you might hesitate to invest due to a lack of trust and respect.
A toxic friend is:
If your friend consistently downplays your wins or becomes envious instead of showing joy, it is a sign of toxicity. For example, if you get a promotion or good grades, they respond with negativity rather than congratulations.
Friendships should be balanced with give and take. If your friend dominates every conversation and expects you to act like the universe revolves around them, it’s time to consider your relationship again. For instance, if you start sharing news about your day they quickly shift the focus back to themselves.
Good friends always encourage you to be active and expand your social circles. If your friend gets jealous or makes you feel guilty for spending time with others, that's not supportive behavior. An example is acting upset or offended when you make plans with other people.
It's normal for friends to disagree sometimes, but constant conflict is a red flag. If they often bring up old resentments or blame you for past mistakes. it might be time to reassess your friendship.
If you find yourself always apologizing or making sacrifices while your friend refuses to budge, that's unfair. A toxic friend might refuse to acknowledge their part in a disagreement or expect you to always give in.
If being around your friend has become draining or stressful, consider whether this friendship is beneficial for you. For example, if you feel relieved when plans with them are canceled, it might be a sign that the friendship is no longer serving you well.
Albert Einstein once said:
“Stay away from negative people, they have a problem for every solution!”
It needs the courage to maintain boundaries and break up with friends whom you have known for long, but it’s also necessary to preserve your physical and mental health when your friendship becomes unhealthy.
Here are some steps that you can consider taking evaluating your situation.
When you feel bad energy in your friendship, start from talking about the things that make you feel uncomfortable. Tell your friends where they are wrong as it may be the case that they don’t realize of being toxic. Resolving conflicts in relationships takes longer, but it works.
Establishing clear boundaries in relations helps you maintain them for longer. But when they start overcoming your nerves, no need to be hesitant to take a step back. But it is p[possible when you have clear boundaries.
You must be clear about your reactions to the other person and that you would not tolerate bad or negative behaviors about you or your near-to-heart relationships. For example: if they continue to talk negatively about your other friends, It's time to cut off them.
If the direct discussion and setting boundaries don't work and bring change to their behaviors, you must slowly reduce the amount of time you spend together. It means saying no to invitations and being less available for calls and outings.
Talking to other friends or getting advice from like-minded people can give you a fresh outlook or strategies for handling difficult relationships. Mental Happy is a platform where you can interact with professional advisors or be a part of Support Groups’ conversations to seek help. They will help strengthen your decision to move on if you're feeling doubtful.
They say every interaction we make has a reason, some came to make our life easier, or some came to teach us a life lesson.
“Some people come into your life to test you, some to teach you, some to use you, and some to bring out the very best in you.”
Take some time to think about what you've learned from the experience. Focus on what signs you might have missed and how you can spot toxic traits in future friendships earlier.
All of these steps can help you distance yourself from toxic people in the future and will help in your personal growth. Don’t miss those little signs of annoying behaviors and jealousy, and you will be good at making healthier social interactions.
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And know more tips on how to let go of toxic people and how to get rid of depression caused by breakups, friends, colleagues, or even parents.
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