Implementing emotional and physical boundaries can keep a budding relationship healthy and even develop mutual respect. When in the early stages, you clear personal or time boundaries; this boundary setting lets others know what you're willing to accept and will not be welcomed. Setting clear boundaries on perfect time will make new relationships grow for the long term as a happy relationship.
Establishing personal boundaries in the early stages is essential for a healthy relationship. This blog guides what you need to stop in the name of love and what you should prioritize. Read on!
Setting and maintaining boundaries in dating and a new relationship might make you uncomfortable, especially if you're a notorious people-pleaser. You may want to make and keep your new partner happy by compromising a few things. These can be:
Please don't do it if you need to compromise on big things. These are deal breakers of the early stages of a relationship. You need to figure out and resolve before getting emotional about it. Your well-being is as valuable as your partner's, and you should never feel embarrassed for wanting boundaries to make it a good relationship. Just don't expect your partner to read your relationship advice and know your intellectual boundaries because, fun fact, they can't read your mind.
Before we move to solve boundary issues in any toxic relationship, you need to know what kind of boundary setting should be considered.
Setting boundaries in new relationships or romantic relationships requires focusing on mutual respect, mental health, quality time, and personal space. We must prioritize our emotional health for setting boundaries in the early stages of a relationship.
Relationship boundaries are of two types:
Healthy boundaries make a good relationship between you and your new partner with mutual respect and understanding, valuing personal time, space, and family members.
Unhealthy boundaries are poor boundaries that have the potential to transform a healthy relationship into a toxic relationship.
When working on a romantic relationship, a few deal breakers are a great way to make it a toxic relationship. These are
It's all about communication, babe. Now that we've established the importance of boundaries, you may wonder how they sound.
I would like to see you but...
In our relationships, we can set all kinds of boundaries. Having boundaries should make us feel like we are valued in our relationships. Here are five examples of good boundaries in a relationship:
A good match will help you maintain this boundary, even if they don't see you as often as they would like. So, you must spend time with someone to learn if you can have a good future relationship.
Exploring the social media of your to-be-partner is a good idea as it helps you know their interests.
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Like you, our free time is essential; as adults, it sometimes feels fleeting. However, setting boundaries in dating and determining compatibility takes time and energy. No one wants to waste it on something that will inevitably not work out due to incompatible life goals or values.
Finding a healthy balance between spending too much time together and not enough can be challenging, especially during the honeymoon phase. It's easy to want to spend every free moment with your new beau, but isolating yourself from the world and only focusing on them is a recipe for codependency.
If you get wrapped up in a person, a healthy boundary is communicating your need to take time for yourself, your friendships, and your hobbies. Expressing this might sound like:
"I'm enjoying my time with you, but it's also important that I make time for myself. I don't want to get lost in this relationship accidentally."
Prioritizing your romantic interest and losing yourself in your romantic interest can be a fine line for many, but opening that dialogue can help you find a healthy, happy medium!
Now that we've established our need for autonomy, it may be time to add some spice.
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So, you've learned they respect your time-management boundary, plus they're funny, intelligent, and goal-oriented, and you're physically attracted to them. Score!
Things might progress toward the bedroom, but you might want your potential partner to have a recent STD test before getting hot and heavy.
Asking them about their sexual health might feel weird!
You don't want to imply that you're shaming them for having a sexual history, and you also probably don't want to know the nitty-gritty details of said history... but, like, have you had a recent STD test?
You shouldn't just assume they're as passionate about their sexual health as you are!
If you're unsure of how to communicate your boundary, try the following:
"My sexual health is important to me, and I don't need to know the details of your sexual history, but I would like for both of us to get tested before we have sex."
If they protest, make excuses, or tell you not to worry, you might be dodging a bullet before things get too serious by learning about their lack of respect for your health.
There's no shame in asking a potential sexual partner to show proof of a recent STD test or asking them to schedule an examination. It's your body; you can protect it however you see fit!
Also, don't feel ashamed if you have a sexually transmitted disease. You are still worthy of having loving, healthy emotional and sexual relationships!
Now that your romantic interest has gotten an STD test or disclosed an STD, you might be ready to take things to the next level and slap a title onto whatever you're doing.
If you're interested in having a monogamous relationship with this person, it might be time to have that uncomfortable "what are we" conversation.
We know it can be stressful, but are we here to waste time? No? We didn't think so.
Try:
"I'm having fun with you, but I want to define this relationship before investing more time into us. I am looking for a long-term relationship, and I would like to know what you're looking for."
If everything goes according to plan, you might be ready to change that Facebook relationship status and alert the media because you got yourself a partner!
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If you don't know how to set healthy boundaries in your relationships, here are four things you can do today:
Having and maintaining boundaries, even outside of your relationship, is not just self-care; it's self-respect. When you realize it, your time starts!
You have a say in what you allow into your life, and being a people pleaser puts your emotions at risk. It's okay to say no, even if your voice quivers.
One of our members shared with us how a lack of boundaries in her last relationship affected her emotional well-being:
"I lacked boundaries BAD in my last relationship by letting my partner's life be my life. Don't get me wrong, my boyfriend was kind and loving, but the pandemic cost him his job, which took a massive toll on his already fragile mental health. I helped financially support him for months until his unemployment got squared away, even though I struggled to make ends meet in my household. I barely knew who I was by the time I left the relationship.
It wasn't until I took vacation time from my job to help him clean his almost uninhabitable apartment that I realized I needed boundaries! My vacation was supposed to be for me to take care of myself, but instead, I scrubbed baseboards and threw away empty beer cans. I realized I was setting myself on fire to keep him warm.
That relationship made me realize how much I need boundaries to keep me from being codependent. It was a harsh lesson, but part of me is glad I learned it the hard way because now I'll never forget its importance."
A good partner will listen to your boundaries, ask questions, and work to help you maintain them.
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An unhealthy partner will ask you to move your goalposts or consistently violate your boundaries.
Do you know:
Broken boundaries without consequences just become mere suggestions!
Setting boundaries is like crafting a roadmap for love to flourish in navigating early relationships.
When you say "Stop in the name of love" to excessive demands, unrealistic expectations, or intrusive behaviors, you're not slamming the door shut; you're building a sturdy gate that lets the right person in while keeping the wrong ones out.
With these boundaries in new relationships, you're not stifling the romance; you're ensuring it has room to breathe and grow.
So, embrace the power of "NO" when necessary, and let your "YES" be a resounding affirmation of the beautiful journey you're embarking upon together.
Check out our other blogs for tips on establishing boundaries in long-term relationships, friendships, family members, and the workplace.
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π What boundaries have you implemented during the dating phase or in young relationships?
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